Hysterical.

This morning, one of my best friends called me crying hysterically. She said her mother had been in two minor car accidents in the last two days straight, and had totally lost touch with reality, and totally lost track of what was going on around her. I mean, she was completely out to lunch, and planned to stick around to see the dinner special. My friend was incredibly worried, didn’t know what was wrong with her mom, and wasn’t easily comforted. I had just downloaded an old favorite game which had been converted into an iPhone app, “Pocket Tanks”. It’s a lot like Worms, or even farther back, Fortress. To cheer her up, I asked if she wanted to play pocket tanks with me.

.is that a mortar shell in your pocket or blahblahblah.....

She thought I was making a dick joke while her mother was in the hospital.

I went out and had some meetings, and then went to a very interesting seminar of sorts.

When I talked to her later, my friend was all happy and laughing, and didn’t even mention her mom. When I asked about it, she said, “yeah so, mom accidentally took ambien instead of her thyroid medication in the morning for the last two days, whoops”.

Yeah, they sell this shit at Walgreens but marijuana is illegal. I get that you’re not supposed to take ambien during the day, but people DO IT ALL THE TIME. Xanax, valium, percocet, paxil, oxyfuckingcontin (which is exactly one carbon chain away from being Afghan quality HEROIN) and a whole host of other mind altering psychoactive drugs are available at your local pharmacy.

Guess what? Pot isn’t a gateway drug. Your family physician who is bought and sold by the pharmaceutical companies more-so than the current House Minority is the pusher, and the candy in the medicine cabinet is the real gateway drug.

We could be clever

Or we could seek pleasure

Either way, i just hope it’s t-gether

forever and ever, never let us be severed